Lauren, Jackson and Isabelle,
Hugs and Kisses to you all and may this be the best year ever!!!
Lauren, Jackson and Isabelle,
Posted by Mom at 6:47 PM
Posted by Mom at 3:16 PM
Posted by Mom at 10:49 PM
You think it will never happen....
Posted by Mom at 4:29 PM
Posted by Mom at 2:58 PM
Several weeks ago I did a Facebook post on mothers day. It was simple, it was a picture at my moms grave with a comment that said:
"My mom and I rarely saw eye to eye.....Mother's Day in my adult life with her was always a struggle never good enough for her..... However my mother is still my mother so today I went to pay respect to her..... "
What happened next was surprising and shocking to me all at the same time.
A friend of mine from High School reached out to me via a PM and in so many words shared with me that she is a medium. She is unaware of when and where such medium occurrences will happen, but that when she saw the headstone she " got a profound sense of regret and sadness" and that she felt strongly that if my mother could she would say "I'm Sorry" she went on to say :
"I'm actually feeling tears pricking at my eyes as I write this. I never knew your mother, I get the sense that she was a rigid woman. I also think that she kept a lot of her feelings for herself, and in many ways with like a man in how she expressed herself. I also think that that type of behavior can only come from having been through great pain. I do steal that you got the worst of it, whatever 'it' was. I think to having survived her, that has made you so successful today. Personally, I am so sorry for the pain that I'm feeling coming from her in that post. But I can tell you that she loves you and is very very proud of you. I hope that comes as some consolation, and I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you. I know it's rather strange, but I felt something that you needed to hear"
I was reading this on my phone and literally dropped the phone when I read it. This person does not know my mother and has no idea of my childhood and what my relationship was with my mother. She went on to say some additional credible things about my mom and myself.
I will not get into all the details because some are VERY private and some are concerning. But I will say she hit the nail on the head and encouraged me to be open to receiving messages from my mom in whatever manner they should come.
Now before you click to get off this page let me be clear that this person is a well educated individual who holds a good job and was in no way shape or form trying to sell me something or have any other agenda. I believe her to be the real deal and legitimate in her reasons for reaching out to me.
It was not the right time for me to be open to such communication as I was days away from a Hysterectomy and I was truly trying to focus for once on me. Also it struck me that this was typical
of my mom to drop in at the 11th hour and "make nice" so to speak. I wasn't ready and I wasn't receptive.
That feeling was solidified for me the next morning when I was in my car with my ipod on shuffle and the Dixie chicks song "I'm not ready to make Nice" came on!!!
To those of you reading this it may all sound foolish to you but I believe that souls live on and I do believe we receive messages either via medium means or other from those who have passed on. While I have never sought to inquire with someone for this information, I do still find it incredibly interesting and wish a few folks in my life who have left me would reach out or send me a sign....Just so I know I am on the right path or have some sense of closure.
As for my mom, I think only time will heal open wounds and when I am ready to receive her I will. though knowing her it will be a "cold day in hell" (she used to say that all the time) before she reaches back out again. But when she does maybe then I will be ready.
Posted by Mom at 12:27 PM
As I looked at the calendar for the upcoming week I said to myself could we have any more "stuff" to do??? Note to self don't ask that question because you will jinx yourself and more "Stuff" will be piled on. So the week looked like this:
Posted by Mom at 9:46 AM
I am a lover of all things animal.....except when it comes to lizards, snakes and any sort of creepy bug.
I have heard several stories and seen many pictures on Facebook over the last few weeks about black snakes.
As a matter of fact just last night my husband and I had a conversation about them while sitting on our newly rearranged back deck.
So imagine my surprise when I walked out the door this morning to get the dogs to come back in the house and I see this ........ several feet away from me.
Posted by Mom at 4:39 PM
Mothers day for the last 16 years has been filled with some sort of strife for me...
If it wasn't the colossal fight I had 16 years ago it was the fall out from it, or my own disappointment in my mothers day, or dealing with the grief of no longer having a mother.
I wrote a post 5 years ago called Why I hate Mothers Day Little did I know the following year would be my last mothers day with my mom. I don't regret the post it is how I felt and I don't believe anyone should regret or apologize for how they feel.
In the years since my mothers death I have learned to understand and in some respects forgive the relationship we had or didn't have. I have taken the words of encouragement and sympathy for my struggle over the years to heart. I have started to believe I was the best daughter I could have been, I stood by my mom even when many didn't and wouldn't. I was loyal and while some of that loyalty came from fear it taught me that your family regardless is what is most important.
This Mothers Day the pain is a bit less and I have learned to embrace my Mothers Day and my kids as well as my feelings towards my mother. So Happy Mothers day to all you Mommy bloggers and to all my Mommy Friends!
Posted by Mom at 5:16 PM
I have a few friends who read my blog and often ask who I am writing about. The truth is there is not one
Posted by Mom at 6:25 AM
I think we have started a tradition for our spring breaks.....
For the last 2 years we have taken a cruise and the kids absolutely love it and it is a relatively relaxing vacation for us. Here are some candid and not so candid pictures from our week of fun......
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Posted by Mom at 7:06 AM
What do you do when you world is shaken upside down and sideways like a snow globe?
How do you get back on track?
Most times we are able to shake it off
Dust ourselves off and move on
But what happens when you just cant shake the change?
When you try to forget
You try to move on
But it taunts you
it haunts you and
ultimately consumes you?
I don't have the answers but if you do please share.......
Posted by Mom at 5:54 PM
As a runner it is the Superbowl of running. I for one know I will never run in Boston, if I run a marathon at all. But there is something magical about the Boston Marathon and when that magic was shattered last year by 2 very radical and horrid people it struck a chord in runners and non runners alike.
My heart goes out to all those who were affected by the tragic events of last year, this event and its anniversary is not one I would wish on anyone. It is one of those events were I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news... (sitting in my office) then I remember trying to find out if those I knew running were safe. Then I like so many others were glued to the news reports and the subsequent death and capture of the perpetrators.
The intent of these men was to destroy the Boston Marathon, hurt as many people as possible and to break our American spirit. While they may have succeeded in the short term they have not prevailed in the long term. See they messed with the wrong group of people, runners are ridiculously mentally tough it is part of their DNA and the City of Boston, well it is tight knit and loyal to the core. Their actions while horrific only proved to us and the world that we are better together then we are apart and that together we can overcome anything that life’s throws our way.
Posted by Mom at 1:57 PM
I wish I knew why things happen the way they do....
Or why people act and react the way they do....
If I did.....
it would help me reconcile the actions of so many people in my life
Why is it, it is so easy to praise one minute and belittle the next?
I don't want to fight.....
I don't want to sling mud......
I want to live happy..... free of anger and venom
Those traits get you nothing but pain and heartache.....
I just want to be happy
I want to be carefree
I want to laugh at the ridiculous things
Make fun of the silly and absurd things
Vent about the things that anger or sadden me.....
Without fear of it being regurgitated spitefully when life gets heated
Is that really too much to ask?
Sure we all get a upset..... We all get angry.... We all make mistakes
But it's how we deal with those issues and treat people during those times that
determines if we stay or flee to higher and safer ground....
I want peace.....
Posted by Mom at 11:33 PM
No I am not talking about the type of wake up call you get to start your day when you are traveling. this wake up call was one of self reflection.... and in my opinion probably way over due.
Hard charging..... a simple 2 word phrase which has been used to describe me.
another 2 word phrase to describe me....Hard headed..... both are correct
Posted by Mom at 12:16 PM
I love Music....
I love to sing and dance (when I am alone)
I love to feel he beat of the music
I love to listen to the lyrics
I simply love music.
I sing like a mad woman in my car to and from work
I sing in the house when I know on one is there to catch me
Posted by Mom at 12:55 AM
Couldn't we all use 10% more happiness???
Recently while I had some down time I saw a segment by Dan Harris of ABC News on his new book 10% happier....
The segment did what it was intended to do in that it sold me on the idea I needed to read this book.
In the segments on the book there was reference to meditation. I for one was not one who you would ever find meditating. I can't slow down to go to the bathroom let alone sit and meditate. I am always telling myself there is something that needs to get done or something I need to think about or plan. So while I was interested in the book I was afraid I would tire of it if it was going to have my sitting crossed legged, burning incense and chanting.
The book was a quick read and I devoured it in 2 days... a record for me but then it did help that I had a lot of time on my hands :) (that's for another post)
I found I was able to so identify with Harris's inner voice that he spoke of that it was almost scary, however it was also intriguing. I was certainly at a point where I could use a little more happiness (can't we all?).
As I read the book I realized that I too had a voice in my head, and no I don't mean crazy voices, and it was occupying a little more time and space than she truly deserved. The nagging little voice causes me to over think, over strategize and be just plain over the top about stuff!!
Don't get me wrong if you have read other posts of mine, you know that I blame a lot of my drive on the fact that I was always trying to please. I still believe that to be true but I also now believe that the inner voice in my head, lets call her Wanda, likes to take my pleasing desire and kick it p to another level.
Why on earth would I fret over what was said in a meeting and how I should interrupt it, or worry that if I make a mistake I will be fired or here's a good one, what my house looks like when the cleaning people come? Why???? because Wanda was there helping me to go through every possible scenario and some that were far fetched in an effort to be in control and plan out my next move. It was causing me to be a bit frantic and ridged abut even the little stuff. No Bueno!!!!!
Wanda has clearly been working overtime in my life for quite sometime and it was time to shut her down or at least tame her a bit.
So I continued to read the book, I learned about meditation and I let Harris take me on his journey, letting
Posted by Mom at 5:26 PM
Posted by Mom at 9:34 AM
You said you cared about me yet your actions showed me otherwise....
You broke me down and built me up time and time again...
You said you would always be there no matter what...
You broke my spirit ...
You took my trust.....
You robbed me ....
Yet I took the abuse..
I allowed myself to be broken....
I was too weak to stand up but too scared to give up....
I will carry you with me forever, though I am not sure how....
Posted by Mom at 10:23 PM